Focus

We focus so much on our relationships which, as we know, is not always a bad thing, but when this focus becomes central to your life; it shatters your peace of mind and ruins your serenity.

As always there is much to be learnt from the prophet SAW’s life, and so it’s finally dawned upon me why he may have said to Abuabkr RA that, if He (the prophet) was to have a close friend it would have been Abubakr ( To the closest meaning)

Relationships – family and friends – work out fine when all is OK, everyone’s rubbing along with everyone else, I, however can’t stand the 'in your face' part of it, which is inevitable and at some point will happen no matter how aware any family is of personal space.

This usually happens at some unexpected moment, when you're getting comfortable and becoming enamoured by the family feeling, the cosy everyone’s joking around and generally having a good time feeling and BHAM! Someone will spout out something and takes it too far.

At this point I feel like I should cut my losses and get out, frankly I don’t need any one to make me feel crap about myself. So I’ll go away, hibernate for a bit, get quiet and solemn, but eventually the whole process will repeat itself and as such life goes on.

What I do know is I like honest people, who don’t just like being listened to but can actually do some listening, who don’t treat you like rubbish one minute and a queen the next. I mean, what’s a person supposed to do with that?!

There are members of family and a few others who look at me with a 'Pfft, yeah right!'; when I say I never get bored- I prefer my own company a lot of the times. Doesn't mean to say I’m a hermit. I can get on with more or less anyone but there’s a lot to be said about being on your own after all there was a part of the prophet SAW’s life where he went to the caves to be on his own too...

I’m sure there are plenty who would disagree with me and I’m pretty sure I’d probably disagree with me on another day so let me know what you think about this slightly untangled part of my brain…

I Can't Forget You That...

I was just thinking upon the matter of forgiveness and forgetting.. I always thought of myself as someone who was very 'in the moment'. I generally find it too tiresome to hold a grudge and to not forgive someone... so as a rule, I don't bother - holding a grudge that is...

Mistakenly, despite knowing the phrase 'Forgive and Forget', I never pondered that the two-that is the forgiveness and the forgetting-are very different emotions. That to forgive does not mean that you have forgotten and to forget does not indicate towards forgiveness and that there is a reason why the phrase is 'Forgive and Forget' and not just the one or the other.

So I realise that I am very easy in my forgiveness but alas I am quite elephant like in my forgetting, in that I don't and can't. As I feel like I don't want to forget and therefore nor can I forget - my view on some aspects of life and relationships becomes a little bit tainted and the more I can't forget, the more deceived I feel. I think I have successfully managed to direct my behaviour towards individuals and not painted everyone with the same brush... you see I'm too young to be a cynic...

However, it must be well acknowledged that 'not forgetting' and remembering are not opposites of one another, not in this medium. To remember is to actively bring forth a memory and make a decision through your conscious self, whereas 'not forgetting' is to  have the thought wondering up and down the back staircase of your mind, behaving in certain ways with no forethought or intention. (NB: This is not a dictionary approved definition)

And finally but inevitably we arrive at the title. So for me, from the famous phrase 'Forgive and Forget',  I feel like I can forgive you that but I can't forget you that...

Just thoughts running around in my head...Feel free to share yours below and please don't read too much in to this, just felt like sharing so I did. x